Megan and the Guy, Chapters 4 and 5

Chapter Four, in which frogs attempt to divert attention; 

ulterior motives are revealed; magical objects of value are retrieved; and certain criminals are heartily flabbergasted.

Once Nadia and Morgan were back to their normal selves, Megan told them about the unbearably irritating unicorn. They all agreed that they should surprise attack the thief’s house and Megan and Morgan should sneak in and retrieve the stone while Nadia distracted anyone who was inside.

         “How should I distract him, though?” Nadia asked.

“Use your imagination, Nadia. Turn into a flying magical hippopotamus that hiccups on command or something.” Morgan insisted. Nadia gaped at Morgan, wondering how she had thought of something so bizarre. “Why would I want to do that? Hiccupping hurts; wouldn’t it be better if I could belch or sneeze or something?” Megan sighed and put her head down. This is never going to work if I have to put up with these two imbeciles. Megan was really worrying about carrying out their plan, now. But they continued on anyway, toward the house next to the tree that the unicorn told Megan about. After minutes of exhausting travel, they finally reached the house. It was small, really small, like not-even-big-enough-for-a-half-dwarf small. The unicorn must have been wrong when he said that this guy was human. As they were standing outside the house, an abnormally small half-elf stepped out, carrying a platter of freshly baked cookies.

“Would you like to try some of my famous oatmeal cookies, my ladies?” he asked politely, too politely.

“Who do you work for?!” Megan demanded immediately, grabbing the little man by the collar of his shirt. “No one is that polite and courteous. So I’ll say it again: who do you work for?!”

“The thief. I work for the thief,” he squeaked, “he hired me to trick you into eating these poison cookies. He said that you were looking for a stone. He has it, though. He keeps it in his home. He lives in the tree. Please don’t hurt me!” Megan set the pathetic little guy down, realizing that she had accidentally left second-degree burns on the skin of his neck. Ouch, that would take a while to heal. Poor guy. Megan actually pitied him.  Megan and the other two girls didn’t wait for anyone to tell them to start up the tree. Nadia shifted into a koala bear to make climbing easier, but unfortunately Megan and Morgan were stuck relying on just their human forms.

“Okay, when we get up there, Nadia, you distract him, while Morgan and I sneak in to grab the stone. Same plan as before, just in a tree.” Megan declared. The koala bear nodded its head; she had heard. Once they reached the top, Nadia transformed into a giant frog, Megan’s hands turned pink, and Morgan pretended that she knew kung fu.

Nadia, in giant frog form, made a great distraction, and Megan had no trouble getting inside. But once she was in the tree house, she stood in shock. For in front of her, lounging on an enormous couch was the unicorn. He unleashed a devious cackle, his eyes now glowing an evil shade of purple.  This wasn’t going to work out well; Megan could just feel it.

“You may have gotten past the cookie maker, but you’ll never find the stone! I have hidden it so well, that even I may never find it again.” He then set free another spell of hideous, evil laughter. Morgan then let out a cry from behind the enormous davenport.

“I found it! It was in a bowl labeled ‘magical stones’” She held up her stone in the air, victoriously. The unicorn just frowned, sadly, disappointed with himself.

Chapter Five, in which happy endings occur

THE END.

Megan and the Guy, Chapter 3

Chapter three in which the relations between people are determined; the capabilities of unicorns are revealed; and frolicking occurs

Morgan, Megan, and Nadia jollily cavorted until they reached a meadow. Once in the boundaries of the field, they all started letting out uncontainable giggles. Nadia began to uncontrollably shape-shift between snickers, and Morgan couldn’t help but to contort her hands into funny shapes. Megan, despite her wild guffawing, was the only one of them who could think lucidly. Irrepressibly outlandish laughter, unexplainable bouts of childish chortling, suspiciously serendipitous snorting, horrifically horrendous hysterics, hopelessly hexed hooting, hypnotically hyper humor—this can only mean one thing: a magical unicorn is launching a telelaughic attack on us! I must save myself! Megan determined. Assessing her surroundings, she saw a large boulder near the edge of the meadow and ran for cover, not bothering to try to quell the childish chuckles that plagued her.

Once behind the massive rock, the inconceivable hysterics died in Megan’s throat. Out in the middle of the pasture, prancing towards Nadia and Morgan, was a unicorn, presumably their assailant. Megan, no longer under the creature’s chuckling enchantment, ran out into the middle of the field to meet him.

“Hey, you! Yeah, I’m talking to you, horn-face! What’s your problem? Why did you put us under a laughing spell? That is seriously messed up!” The unicorn turned to face Megan.

“Excuse me; I was only trying to protect myself in case you all were dangerous or evil. Self-defense.” The unicorn replied, very much annoyed.

“Do you really think that that,” Megan pointed at Morgan, who was making a butterfly with her hands while brewing bubbles in her mouth, and Nadia, who was waving her arms around like an plane and managing to laugh while making airplane sounds when she actually turned into a small jet, “is dangerous? I can’t see how you would even register them as a threat! Besides, we’re not evil. We are just looking for a magical stone that was stolen from the girl blowing bubbles over there. I’ll show you a photo if you can tell me if you know anything about it’s whereabouts.” The unicorn nodded its head, and Megan pulled out a photograph:

“No, sorry. I haven’t seen it. But, I know someone who knows a guy who is friends with a harpy who once met a dwarf that knew a man who was the stepson of a goblin who once dueled a gnome who was friends with an elf who was the distant cousin of a swan who knew a mermaid who had cursed, well not really cursed, but cast a very nasty spell, on a prince whose brother knew a man that once stayed at an inn kept by a half-dwarf that knew a guy with a gambling problem that once won a game against an ogre that was employed for a bandit that once met the guy who stole it from your friend. Actually, the man who stole it is really my eighteenth cousin’s fifteen times removed on my mother’s side half brother’s biological father’s wife’s brother’s nephew, who I met at the last family reunion. So actually, I do know him. He is human, I think, but perhaps he…” Megan was about to punch this unicorn in the face, no matter how endangered his species was.

         “Do you or do you not know how I can get the stone?” Megan interrupted.

“Why yes, now that you mention it, I do know how you can get the stone.”

 Megan waited for him to continue. The unicorn just stared at her.

“Well,” she tapped her foot impatiently, “how do I get the stone?” The unicorn, which Megan now knew was clearly a master of insufferableness, just looked confused. Megan sighed irritated. Did we really have to stumble upon the most obnoxious, most talkative, most intolerable creature to ever exist on the planet? Her thoughts practically exploded inside her. She looked down at her feet and found that they were starting a fire in the grass. Oh, well.

“Where does the guy who stole it live?” Megan snapped. The unicorn had a look of comprehension cross his face. “Do you see that really really really really big tree over there in the distance? He lives next to it. But on the other side of the tree lives a half-elf who makes the best oatmeal cookies. I mean, all oatmeal cookies are good, but this guy’s are amazing. I can’t remember a time that I didn’t…” Megan stopped listening and went to fetch her enchanted friends, who were still madly giggling. Morgan was on her back, rolling around laughing, while Nadia, who had transformed into a hyena, was cackling ferociously. Megan grabbed them both by their arms and dragged them out of the meadow, where they promptly stopped their maniac hysterics, unlike the unicorn who just kept rambling on and on and on in the background: something about acorn-nut dark chocolate macaroons.

Chapters 4 and 5 to come...

Megan and the Guy, Chapter 2

Chapter Two, in which jailbreaks are to be expected, and certain magical stones’ conditions are to be brought to light

Megan sat in jail, waiting for something amazing to happen: a miracle, an explosion, an evolutionary breakthrough, a flash mob, anything. Her prayers were answered when suddenly a giant watermelon came rolling through the wall behind her.

“I’m free!” Megan shouted, “Thank-you, Nadia! You and your watermelon-y awesomeness have saved me! Now we can go get Morgan’s stone back!” Suddenly the watermelon transformed into Nadia. It is so cool to have a friend that can shape-shift into anything, Megan thought.

“So, Megan, how was the big house?” Nadia teased. Megan just glared. Unfortunately for her, mentally commanding Nadia to forget about that minor detail wouldn’t work.

“Okay, so it wasn’t as great as you’d always wished it would be, but on the bright side, I heard some people at the station talking about Morgan’s stone. They said that it had been stolen from the jeweler’s shoppe. If we wander aimlessly around in a meadow, then we are bound to find out where it is.”

“That sounds like fun, let’s do that!” Megan exclaimed gleefully. So they set off to find their other friend, Morgan.

         Megan and Nadia skipped merrily to Morgan’s house. They knocked on the door eight times and rang the doorbell at least twelve times, before she actually opened the door. When she did open it at last, Megan and Nadia found themselves staring at the bag over Morgan’s head.

         “Did you guys find my stone?” Morgan inquired, optimistically. Megan frowned and Nadia lowered her head sadly.

“Guys, I can’t see you with this over my head, so you’re going to have to talk. I am so not showing my face ever again until I get my powers back. Which means that until I get my stone back, I am an honorary blind person.” Unlike Megan, who was born with her powers, or Nadia, who received hers after falling into a radioactive pond, Morgan required a magical blue stone to activate her powers over water. Megan and Nadia had been diligently working to find it for the past couple of days.

“Okay, then I guess you just won’t get to go frolicking in a meadow with us in pursuit of your stone.” Megan taunted. The very moment the word ‘frolic’ escaped Megan’s lips; Morgan had doffed the bag and was dressed and ready to go prancing in a meadow. 

Chapter 3 to come...

Megan and the Guy

Here is a story I wrote for my best friend for her birthday about a year ago; I thought it'd be fun to share:

Megan and the Guy who knows a guy who is friends with a guy who knows the guy who is cousins with a guy who knows a guy who thought this title was too long

Chapter One, in which certain beginnings are established, and the statuses of gems of particular value are ascertained

Megan skirted the edge of the jewelry store, making sure to stay unseen. She was a thief tonight; she could not be caught or the consequences would not be good. She had to get that stone back, so that Morgan could have her powers back. She came to a window and looked inside; it was three o’clock in the morning, so it wasn’t a big surprise that no one was in there. She tried to open the window, but alas, it was locked. She dug around in her backpack for something heavy. Finally she found, something, a bowling ball. She grabbed the massive orb and threw it through the window, breaking the glass. She hoped that no one had heard the cacophonous sound of the glass shattering. It would attract unwanted attention. Megan jumped through the broken window into the jewelry shop, landing with a thud on the cold, hard stone floor. The shop owners must have lived in the South Pole for some time, because the shop was freezing cold. Megan’s hands unconsciously began to warm up, her powers over fire kicking in. She looked down, and sure enough, her hands were fiercely glowing red. She stuffed them into her jacket pockets, but they began to burn through the weak material. Anyone who saw them would know she was here.

“Ughhh,” she groaned, “there goes my anonymity.” That wasn’t the only problem, though: it was hard to commit robbery when you had Hey There, Delilah stuck in your head; it just didn’t feel right. She took a step in the direction of the sales counter, using her hands as flashlights. She looked inside the diamond-encrusted cases, but didn’t see the stone. Of course, if I were a jewelry storeowner who had stolen a priceless, magical stone, then I would probably keep it in the back somewhere, She thought. She made a move toward the backroom, when the lights in the store suddenly turned on, and she heard sirens outside.

“Put your hands up!” commanded a police officer that was presumably standing right behind her. Megan regrettably raised her hands, and immediately the police knew who she was.

“Megan?! What are you doing, robbing a jewelry store in the dead of night?! I thought you were one of the good guys.” Megan just shrugged; knowing that nothing that nothing she said would help her. Officer Goodman put handcuffs on Megan and led her to his car, where she would be taken to jail.

Chapter two to come...